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Archive for November, 2010

The Affable Introvert

I cannot write tonight.
My mind’s completely blank.
Like the surface of my heart,
and this daunting page.

I hesitate to express my feelings
for fear of what you’ll say,
so I’ll lock them up inside instead,
and hope they go away.

Why do we lie about who we are?
We can only be ourselves.
What’s the point of this charade
when everyone can tell?

I’ll show you who I really am
if you promise not to judge.
I’m uncomfortable inside my skin,
and have opened up to none.

Someday I’ll get used to this.
One day it will all sink in.
But until then I’ll be content
not knowing what you’re thinking.

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The One

My mind is overflowing with thoughts of only You.
My love is always growing for the One that I run to.

You changed my life.
You made me whole.
It’s something I couldn’t have imagined.
You pulled me from the depths of hell
through grace that I can’t fathom.

I will praise the One who took away my sin,
my Savior who died so I could breathe again.

While I’m ashamed of many of the things I’ve done,
there’s forgiveness because of the death of His Son.

I’ll live for Him by striving to love everybody.
In Him I will put my trust.
My heart, my soul, my life is His,
the One who raised us from the dust.

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Outlive

The blue gives into black,
and another day is past.
The present is always here,
and the future will not last.

Her heart is torn.
It’s cut right down the middle.
But the bleeding has stopped,
and she waits for healing.
It takes time,
but it will happen,
if only for her breathing.

It’s autumn and the leaves are departing.
The trees push them all away,
rejected until they are born again
in the refreshing days of spring.

The rains come to quench the flowers’ thirst.
She can feel the drops land on her head.
But the showers have arrived several months too late,
for the flowers are already dead.

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Acceptance

Disappointed and hurting,
all I can do is lay here.
Outside the sun is shining,
while my eyes are shedding tears.

Does it have to be so cheerful?
Does it have to be so bright?
I’m tired of seeing it in the sky,
and cannot wait until the night.

That’s when the light matches my mood,
and I don’t feel so out of place.
I can wallow in my sorrow.
It’s the one thing they didn’t take.

Sadness is my best friend.
Depression tags along.
Whispering things I’d rather not hear,
telling me I’m always wrong.

They’re not the most pleasant companions,
but they’re the only ones I’ve got.
They’ve been with me throughout my life,
from before I learned to walk.

I really didn’t have a choice.
Happiness always hated me.
So what was I supposed to do,
except embrace the misery?

Now my final breath is coming.
I can feel it in my lungs.
I’ll die today and that’s all right.
From death I will not run.

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