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Archive for April, 2011

Distraction

Give me something to keep my mind off the pain,
a simple distraction while I heal,
because the forecast lately has been incessant rain,
and I’d prefer being numb over the things I’ve been forced to feel.

I was focused on what was pure,
then I turned my head away.
Even though I knew where my heart was leading me,
I recklessly went astray.

It only lasted a short while,
but that was more than enough to destroy.
The foundation we’d laid had already crumbled
by the time the mistake was realized by this boy.

I’d say I’m sorry, but it wouldn’t help.
You deserve someone who knows your worth the first time around.
A man who’s completely sure of his commitment,
and won’t run like a coward when obstacles abound.

You’ll find him sooner or later,
the one you were meant to hold.
He’ll sweep you off your feet,
and together you’ll grow old.

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Bird

She’s the most beautiful of birds.
I can’t hold her down if she wants to fly.
I won’t try to persuade her with flattering words.
Instead I’ll only say goodbye.

I’ve been holding tight to my feelings for far too long,
but now I’ll let them play out like the melody of a song.

If her path leads back to me,
then I’ll welcome her with a warm embrace.
If we are truly meant to be,
love will happen at its own pace.

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Letter

Dear Today,

You’ve been nothing but trouble.
Why do you treat me this way?
There were clouds inside my mind from the night before,
but instead of getting rid of them, you’ve only added more.
I can’t wait until you’re gone.
Maybe tomorrow will bring some joy.
Then I’ll forget the things she said,
and won’t feel like a broken toy.
My heart is beginning to ache.
My head is starting to pound.
My mouth can’t figure out what it wants to say.
My stomach feels like it’s been turned upside down.
Though you’re not the worst day I’ve met,
you come very close.
But you’re probably the saddest one
that I ever did know.
I can’t think of more to add,
so I’ll put an end to you by going to sleep.
You won’t have to listen to my words any longer,
although you might hear the softest weep.
I’ll sign my name
with the blood from my wrists.
P.S. I’m dying.
Then I’ll seal it with a kiss.

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Defined

Do you remember telling me how you felt?
Do you remember my response?
You acted like all was well.
I didn’t doubt you even once.

Yet you knew it all would end.
You just weren’t certain when.
I was blinded by emotions,
and didn’t think I’d lose you as a friend.

I hadn’t realized the game you were playing,
how I was a pawn in your grand scheme.
Why did my eyes betray my mind
when it was so plain to see?

The truth has been set free for the very first time.
It can spread its wings and soar.
I now know you’ll never be mine.
We can’t even be friends, much less something more.

But I won’t be brought down by this smallest of failures.
I’ll stand up tall and hold my head high.
For even though in your eyes I’ve lost favor,
your opinion of me isn’t what I choose to be defined by.

I sometimes wish it would have worked out with us,
that there was hope you could love me still,
but I know He’ll provide someone else for me,
if it adheres to His perfect will.

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Eternity

In a forest with trees as black as the night,
she’s lost her way and has yet to find light.
There isn’t a sign to tell her where to go.
His love was something fake. It was only a show.

Pieces of her heart are scattered on the ground.
She can feel her body shaking uncontrollably without a sound.
The fragments will never be the same as what was once whole.
Even if they’re glued back together, the separation has taken a toll.

Death might be the only way to escape this feeling of regret.
She tries to forget everything that occurred,
but only ends up more upset.
She should have listened to her head instead of relying on emotions.
They swing back and forth at a rapid pace,
while her thoughts are as deep as an ocean.
She knows she has no choice but to sleep in the bed she’s made,
but she wishes there was some way to fix this constant pain.

For years she struggles with the things of her past,
trying to find out who she is, and formulating plans.

Until one day she sees Him there in front of her.
She instantly falls at His feet,
and her faith is then confirmed.

He lifts her eyes and sets her on her way.
She senses His presence and knows she can trust that He’ll stay.

She’s been transformed by His saving grace.
All her previous worries are suddenly erased.
Changes are made, and her heart begins to heal.
Her debt is paid, and for once love feels real.

Every day she grows closer and closer to Him.
She strives to live her life free from sin.
And though she stumbles every now and then,
she never loses faith that He’ll pick her up again.

It goes like this until her mortal life is through.
Her soul ascends high above the blue.
She feels thoroughly blessed that He chose her,
and that she gets to spend an eternity with her Father.

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Storm

A sea of emotion has been tossing
this fragile boat we call love.
The relentless waters rage at our sides,
down below, and high above.

Will we prevail through each and every storm?
Do we have the means to repair all that’s been torn?
Or is our relationship an exaggerated dream,
a foolish hope doomed to fail because
you’re a perfect garden and I’m just a weed?

I’d take care of you until the day I pass on,
but it would never be enough.
For you to want me forever I’d need
an infinite amount of luck.

I couldn’t ask you to decide between
what’s convenient and what’s right.
It’s a choice that could potentially
keep you awake at night.

You can say what you like,
I don’t mind in the least.
I already know you’re experienced and I’m naive,
that you’re tenacious with the right amount of sweet,
and that you’re everything I aspire to one day be.

Now that you’ve pushed me out to drown,
throw me a lifejacket so I might reach solid ground.
I won’t try to change your mind.
My only wish is to survive,
that I may find another one,
a being with whom to share my love.

It was something you rejected.
I would have been all yours.
But I completely understand,
for we just couldn’t make it to shore.

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Effort

My stomach is filled with butterflies
as my heart skips a beat.
Your kindness has won me over.
I throw up my hands in defeat.

I didn’t know effort,
hadn’t seen it before.
I’d been getting used to
always being ignored.

To be the one to show you care
gets depressing after years of trying,
when you’re reaching and there’s nothing there,
and you’re the only one who’s fighting.

I built up walls of doubt and pride
to keep away the pain,
but you knocked them all down
the moment you came.

You brought the sun back into my life.
I open the window and breathe in the light.
It’s beautiful. It corrects my path.
I know I won’t be looking back.

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