Archive for October, 2011

Broken Wings

She’s an angel with broken wings;
beautiful but stuck on dirty ground.
Her smile is a mask hiding the scars,
hoping nobody will ever find out.

Happy on the surface,
though screaming deep inside.
She wants to be alone
so her feelings don’t have to hide.

Through that twisted lullaby
she fell into unnatural repose.
He stole what couldn’t be given back,
then escaped before she woke.

Years have gone by since then,
and she’s tried to put it all behind her.
The memory won’t leave because
those nightmares are a constant reminder.

Crawling underneath the covers,
she prays to God for healing.
Her life has been one challenge after another,
but that doesn’t keep her from believing.

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Why do I torture myself with thoughts of you?
Can’t I just admit you’ll never feel the same?
How can I go on like this,
as if your opinion of me will change?

You’ve made it clear you don’t want me in your life,
but for some reason I can’t seem to let go.
You’ve cast an enrapturing spell on me,
and I won’t back down until I’ve accomplished my goal.

Why do I attempt what is next to impossible?
Your devotion is a mountain peak I may never reach.
Do I really think my tenacity will pay off?
That if I keep trying,
I’ll eventually obtain what I seek?

Why is it that when you ignore me
it causes my affection to grow even more?
Why do I insist on persistence,
and continue fighting a futile war?

I’ve heard there are other fish in the sea,
but you’re the only one that I see.
You’re the only girl worth my effort.
You captured my heart so effortlessly.

I won’t give up on you,
though you beat my emotions to a pulp.
Give me something to hold on to
while I’m hanging from a thread of hope.

I’m a desperate fool forever stuck,
deeply in love but out of luck.

I’ll wait as long as it takes,
for better or for worse,
regardless of whether my commitment
ends up being a blessing or a curse.

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Dear Lord,
I’m not certain about what I believe.
I pray that You’d draw me close,
and wouldn’t allow my faith to leave.

Guide me in seeing the bigger picture
when I let small problems lead me astray.
Help me to remember that You have a plan
in the moments it’s difficult to keep my worries at bay.

When bitterness creates doubt,
and the ache spreads to my bones,
pick me up in Your gentle embrace,
and take away the feeling that I’m alone.

You’re always faithful,
but I’m only an unstable human being.
Forgive me of these wrongdoings,
and forget the vile words I didn’t mean.

I never want to distance myself from You again.
Keep me far from every sin.
In Your loving,
perfect name,

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You would have been twenty-one today,
but it wasn’t meant to be.
Instead you were taken long ago.
From this world you were set free.

Lovely angel,
there’s joy in the fact we’ll meet again.
I’m not dreading my death
because I’ll get to see you in heaven.

Until then I’ll revel in the hope
every thought of you brings.
My beautiful Alexandra,
the memory of your smile makes life worth living.

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Drifting in and out of consciousness,
losing what’s left of my sanity.
I’m clinging to the hope this is all a dream,
though sadly I know it’s my harrowing reality.

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I want to live inside a house of leaves
because autumn feels like home.
It won’t be noticed by any human being,
and I can happily be left alone.

Every insecurity has been diminished,
for there’s no one left to judge me.
Never focusing on my imperfections,
I only concentrate on the good things I see.

No more worry,
no more tears.
This is the state
I’ve been seeking out for years.

Solitude has brought me peace.
I’m one with nature,
dwelling among colorful trees.

In this place there are no wars;
there isn’t hate to be found.
Look at the harmony of the stars,
notice the tranquility all around.

If heaven is real,
then this has to be its location.
If God exists,
He must have a beautiful imagination.

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So now you’ve made your way into my life again.
The mere thought of you brings back a lot of pain.
But I won’t be making the same mistake twice,
nor will I lose the focus that’s been so hard to obtain.

Pardon me for keeping my distance.
This is how it has to stay.
If I don’t remove the poison from the start,
it will quickly spread through every vein.

You’re a reminder of all I did wrong.
Though it’s difficult to look into those alluring eyes,
your absence has helped in forgetting some of the lies,
and I find myself smiling while at the same time wondering why.

You once demolished walls I built that nobody else ever had,
but then you went and used the debris to fashion a tower of your own.
I tried my best in reaching the spot where your heart was placed,
though the climb continually grew higher with every word you spoke.

What more can I say about how I feel?
You played with my emotions,
and made me believe your love was something real.

The only thing left is to give thanks for the situation that left me sore.
Because if I hadn’t experienced being with a girl like you,
I may never have known what not to look for.

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