Archive for July, 2013

So this poem is the very first one I put up on my blog, the piece that started this crazy journey of placing my thoughts and feelings online for the world to see. Unlike some of my older material, I don’t cringe when I read through it today (and my hope is that you don’t, either). Haha.


Disappointed and hurting,
all I can do is lay here.
Outside the sun is shining,
while my eyes are shedding tears.

Does it have to be so cheerful?
Does it have to be so bright?
I’m tired of seeing it in the sky,
and cannot wait until the night.

That’s when the light matches my mood,
and I don’t feel so out of place.
I can wallow in my sorrow.
It’s the one thing they didn’t take.

Sadness is my best friend.
Depression tags along.
Whispering things I’d rather not hear,
telling me I’m always wrong.

They’re not the most pleasant companions,
but they’re the only ones I’ve got.
They’ve been with me throughout my life,
from before I learned to walk.

I really didn’t have a choice.
Happiness always hated me.
So what was I supposed to do,
except embrace the misery?

Now my final breath is coming.
I can feel it in my lungs.
I’ll die today and that’s all right.
From death I will not run.

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I’ve had my poetry blog for what’s coming up on three years now, and I’m going to start putting up some of my favorites I posted a while back to share with new readers who might have missed them before they were buried under the mass of my more current poems. Haha. I hope you all enjoy reading (or rereading) them!

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They’re seen as wise,
but only in their own eyes.
They’ve been spoon-fed lies
by a figure cloaked in disguise.

My oh my.
No one asks why.
If we live life high,
then why should we die?

Tossing and turning,
questioning then burning.
I feel a strong yearning
for wisdom through learning.

The future is in our hands.
Rise up and take a few stands.
Erase these borders from our lands.
Walk across miles of desert sands.

Pray for peace,
that war will cease.
Don’t let hate increase,
or love may decease.

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Timing sets the course,
deciding if we’ll succeed
or utterly fail.

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Hands, barely touching.
Eyes, gaunt and reflecting loss.
Hearts, keeping no beat.
Legs, held down by high power.
Feet, nailed to a cold, stone floor.

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With Intent

My heart is heavy.
My mind is weak.
I can’t seem to find
the comfort I seek.

Maybe I’ve been looking
in all the wrong places.
Maybe I’ve fallen out of
the Lord’s fine graces.

I feel quite alone
in this mad, mad world.
Where is my home?
It’s not in a pretty girl.

I’m walking, slowly,
taking the utmost care.
I wouldn’t want to slip
into the depths of despair.

I’m moving forward
with intent in my soul.
Nothing will stop me
from accomplishing my goal.

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Standing alone in the corner of the room,
the party is rolling along without any care.
Despite all the alcohol, it doesn’t feel cool.
Faces look through me as if I’m not there.

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Love in Ink

My pen follows me
as I write words about you.
No matter how much
I try to set love in ink,
I’ll never enter your heart.

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I can taste your lips,
though we haven’t kissed in years.
Should these memories
melt as a midwinter’s snow,
flakes of my heart will scatter.

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Can she see the jealousy in my eyes?
Does she know how much I’m hurting?
She’s making it hard to remember her lies,
leading me on with her reckless flirting.

I’m aware of the direction this is headed,
yet I still choose to make a fool of myself.
Why do I continue talking to her
as she places me to collect dust on her shelf?

It’s as though she believes I don’t have a heart,
that I don’t feel like every other human being does.
Perhaps she doesn’t care that I’m torn apart.
Maybe she’s not the sweet girl I thought she was.

I can pin the blame on her, I can pin it on God,
but I realize it falls on me to fix my mistakes.
She’ll never love me, so I need to move on,
even if it means forgetting her pretty face.

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