Archive for December, 2013

The Last Thing

If I should die of heartbreak tonight,
the last thing I’ll imagine in my semiconscious stupor
is your gentle voice whispering in my ear,
telling me to resist the temptation to put up a fight.

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Not Hungry

Wake up. Morning.
Not hungry.
Return to snoring.

Thirty minutes later.
Awake again.
Still not hungry.

Rise from bed.
Rise from dead.
Repeat in head.

Standing naked.
Scrubbing hair.
Steaming shower.

Standing clothed.
Drying hair.
Dripping shower.

Grab keys.
Walk out door.
Start engine.

Frosty windshield.
Packed freeway.
Long commute.

Fake smiles.
Real chagrin.

Lunch break.
Still not hungry.
Sad novel.

Screwing off.

End of shift.
Pack up.
Clock out.

Didn’t clock in.
Talk to supervisor.

Fix mistake.
Walk out door.

Clear windshield.
Packed freeway.
Long commute.

Cold apartment.
Bare fridge.
Not hungry anyway.

Turn on TV.
Nothing good on.
Switch it off.

Brush teeth.

Get into bed.
Restless sleep.

Wake up. New day.
Old day. Not hungry.
Same shit cycle.

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Fleeting Compassion

In my bedroom beneath the protection and warmth of this solid roof,
I consider for a moment how fortunate I am
and the fact that many don’t have any place to call home.

The thought causes my heart to droop a little bit
as I shake the sad picture out of my head,
draw the blinds, and slip into my soft, comforting bed.

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Afternoon in Seattle

The clouds are weeping once again,
and as I walk the damp streets of downtown Seattle,
my black umbrella bobs above me,
catching the rain along with all of the other umbrellas
people have unsheathed so as to remain dry,
resembling a crowd of giant, shuffling mushrooms
on this otherwise ordinary afternoon.

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Intricate Ways

I can feel the pain in our silence.
There isn’t anything left to discuss.
No more tears or emotional violence.
Just a sinking ship in each of our guts.

Your decision couldn’t be more firm,
though I’ll admit I’ve no idea why.
Maybe it’s an answer I’ll never learn,
hidden forever behind a scripted lie.

I did my best this time around,
and somehow I still came up short.
I won’t inherit that gleaming crown,
nor enter your most royal court.

Sound logic is a losing battle.
It prevails without doing any good.
Best to stick with empty prattle,
words that have been carved from wood.

The tunnel I reluctantly trudge through
promises no comforting light at the end.
But though I know that to be the truth,
from your intricate ways I will not bend.

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Letting Go

He’s been letting go of the things he used to believe in.
Principles that once ruled his life are abandoned by the road.
They never got him anywhere, even when he followed them faithfully.
Carrying that burden of constant guilt made him cynical and cold.

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No amount of wishes on eyelashes
or first stars in the night
could make me feel as lucky
as I am when I’m by your side.

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Broken or Bending

There’s a sickness in my stomach
from the beating my heart’s been dealing.
It’s been causing me to plummet
into this truth where there’s no healing:

There is no perfect ending.
We settle or die alone.
We’re broken or we’re bending.
Honest joy is never known.

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I’m a zombie crawling toward productivity
as the coffee’s delightful effects begin to swim
through my sluggish body and into veins,
gently nudging me awake from the inside out.

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Time Away

Diving reluctantly into shallow waters I can’t say I adore,
my hope is that with time spent away from the enchanting shore,
the capable tide will pilot me to genuine love once more.

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