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Posts Tagged ‘longing’

Bluecycle

One screen to the next:
phone then TV then laptop then desktop.
A cycle of blue glow against eyes
then troubled sleep before it all starts again.

I witness firsthand the effects,
any attention secondhand; trickle-down love,
it works as well as it does in economics
until I start to believe I deserve only a drop
in return,

my mouth perpetually dry and unable
to form enough saliva to speak up for myself, to express
how a room can be so warm and I (or we) so cold
that no amount of heating can make up for this.

What does it say about us (or you) [or me] that
I feel closer to you when we’re apart? You make it all
sound so sweet, missing me, wanting to be near.
But then when we are, there’s a screen blocking out
the union of our gaze and the blue sets in again.

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Last Night

I blew the dust off the covers
and touched the lines tinged with a sadness
inexplicable but familiar,
like my subconscious screaming
at the rest of me the obvious answer.

I inhaled the dust until the lines
lost their sentimentality.
By theirs I mean mine. What’s mine
isn’t yours (or theirs) when
the what is pain.

I curled up on the carpet
in between closet and bedroom,
blankets a poor substitute
for you, and shivered through sleep
broken and restless.

I pulled the teeth of the beast
called greed, wanting too much too fast
too casually in the grand scheme
of things, intellectual fool concealing a heart
that should’ve been offered up.

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